Facing your Philtrum

After decades of hiding out in a follicular witness protection program my philtrum has been exposed for the world to see.

To save you the Google, in case you didn’t know, the philtrum is the vertical groove between your nose and your upper lip. I can feel the dewy dampness of my own breath on the clean-shaven plain of my philtrum as I write this. It’s a very strange sensation after so many years of having the thing insulated by a moustache. Since I hadn’t used a razor in this area since Joe Namath stopped doing Noxema shaving cream ads, I had to be very careful that I didn’t rip it to shreds. There’s a specific rhythm to shaving. You shave your chin differently than your jaw line or your cheeks. I pretty much had to wing it around the philtrum.

I must say, it sure isn’t much to look at…this philtrum of mine. I don’t know what I was expecting. Something Brad Pitt-like in the way of lush fleshy ridges would have been nice. But , like my butt, which no longer interferes with the straight line from my shoulders to my heels (George Carlin line) my philtrum scarcely provides a speed bump from the nose to the top lip.

There is much folklore and some religious connotation to this part of the body. Some scribes say the fleshy indent is something left behind by an angel or even God when the baby has been ‘ sushed ‘ in the womb. I must have been a really quiet fetus.

Removal of the facial hair means I can embrace a whole new world of quick and easy personal hygiene. I can now eat extremely aromatic, though often messy, food with wild abandon and worry not about telltale residue.  There can now be extra butter on my popcorn and anchovies on a pizza. The other day, after over-pouring some pop, I leaned over and sucked the rising foam from the glass before it could overflow and create a mess. And I did it without any whiskers in the way. Wonderful!

Unfortunately, though I have a substantial proboscis and highly developed (even spectacular) mandibular tori, neither of these protuberances of the head have had any impact on fostering a well-developed philtrum. This philtrum, in fact, is ho-hum. For that reason, I’m not changing the photo at the top of this blog. Not yet. Like the moustache that once shielded it from the view, a new-born philtrum is something that may need to settle in.

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4 Responses to “Facing your Philtrum”

  1. Next thing we know you’ll be untwisting your aglets.

  2. Michelle Marlene Williams Says:

    Now Dave….You really shouldn’t tease us all that way.
    You know for a FACT that’s all I’m going to be thinking about today!

  3. And no photo to show the new look!

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