A Small Corner of Hell

Ah, the heat of petty annoyances.

I entered a small corner of Hell this week. I simply slid into it without warning. We’ve all been there. It’s that nasty spot and space in time when, despite your best efforts, nothing seems to work. I put snow tires on the car and one of them keeps going flat. I lost power to the television and spent an hour with the cable people trying to reset my pvr. I just put the Christmas lights up outside and now they don’t work.(Despite the fact that they did work about half an hour earlier.) It’s a sphincter-tightening existence in this small corner of Hell. And these soul-eroding annoyances always seems to happen in bunches. I’m almost afraid to use a toilet. It would be nice if there was some sort of all-clear signal from the fates so I could feel confident going about the drudgery of my daily chores.

The Christmas lights I expect to produce a problem. When don’t they?  I’ve given up going around to every bulb and giving it a little jiggle. If you look at them the wrong way the filaments fall apart. The air pressure on my car tires? It goes up and down like Rip Taylor’s toupee. Don’t get me started on having to pay a dollar for air at a service station.

The pvr ? Well, it finally…somehow…magically reprogrammed itself ,even after the cable rep told me there was a problem with the signal to the house. At one point in our hour-long technical tango I asked her how she managed to maintain her sanity while trying to get perplexed people to push all the right buttons on their remotes? How does she handle, for example, the information chasm that must present itself when a baffled senior is on the phone? She laughed and said you just had to have a little more patience.

I’d last about five minutes in that kind of job. Frankly, I’d be of no use at the other end of a suicide hotline, either. It’s not that I’m unsympathetic, it’s just that I have a much lower frustration threshold than some. I’m always losing my temper with inanimate objects that don’t cooperate. I should learn to be a tad more tolerant of my fellow man as well. Those of us in this small corner of Hell, you see, are always our own worst enemies.

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2 Responses to “A Small Corner of Hell”

  1. keep on keeping on dave, is all we can do when times get difficult

  2. Dave, here is some tapas from my mind:

    I don’t know what your plans are, but if you want to get back into the media circus on a fulltime basis, here is the way I see it playing out:

    Christy Clark becomes premier. I’m fine with it …
    Simi Sara gets that timeslot at the giant 98. Simi is excellent. It should be a slam dunk, assuming Simi is interested, of course.

    Dave Gerry, also an excellent media personality, makes the odd guest appearance on Simi’s show and Corus management FINALLY realizes “hey, this guy is the guy for the morning drive, the one guy in the whole city who can do justice to the frosty forst legacy.”

    Till can move back to the afternoon with McComb or something like that. I like them both well enough, but you have to get Dave Gerry on the roster somehow, so this is what I propose.

    The only hitch is the Corus management finally realizing part. Never know, though, it could happen …

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