Meet the Feet

Do you suffer from poor foot esteem? The reason I ask is because I had a pedicure recently. This is not a part of my daily maintenance regimen (although, perhaps it should be) but I had a gift certificate that was almost a year old and so I sashayed in for a tootsie buff. It felt great. I can certainly see why women love to have other people work on their feet. Many men are increasingly fond of it too. The aesthetician told me that I had nice feet..which is good…I guess. I don’t think she says this to everyone. I’m sure aestheticians frequently see feet that look like they belong to some other species. An aesthetician, much like a bomb removal specialist, must be conditioned against the inadvertent wince.

Many people do suffer from poor foot esteem. They simply hate their feet. I once took a television camera down to a very popular Vancouver beach on a hot summer afternoon to do a feature on toe rings. Ninety per cent of the women we approached shot their digits into the sand like a panicked gopher. They were basically ashamed of their feet. Even if they thought their feet were passable, they sure as hell didn’t want to see that part of their body on the evening news.

There are some for whom feet have become a fetish and others who would just as soon forget they’re even down there. There was an attractive, seemingly normal, woman I once knew who told me that she could not bear the thought of someone’s feet brushing up against her. The mere graze of a toe was enough to launch her into some kind of babbling, heebie-jeebie orbit. I hope she got some help with that. She’d be a million laughs in a tatami room at the local Japanese restaurant.

Feet certainly have the capacity to start out cute as a button in life (like everything else) and morph into something quite hideous (like eveything else) by the time you’ve hit the mid-life mark. They can get hairy and boney, bust out with bunions and hammertoes. The arches can fall and the nails may begin to acquire a gnarly tortoiseshell veneer. There’s an awful lot that can go south on a foot so when someone who should know tells you that you’ve got nice feet it can pretty much send you skipping down the sidewalk.

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One Response to “Meet the Feet”

  1. An enjoyable read, been awhile since I visited. Been busy creating, gardening. I am one of those that quickly hide ones feet from public viewing. Enjoyed the pickle blog as well.

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