Face Facts

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Today I committed a huge faux pas while talking to someone who was probably about half my age. She was a lovely young woman who happened to be sipping coffee from a styrofoam cup while we stood and chatted. At some point in the conversation I couldn’t stand it anymore and I mentioned that a tiny fragment from the coffee cup had  apparently become dislodged and was now stuck on her lip. It turns out that it wasn’t a part of the cup..it was a piercing..and there is no adequate description of how idiotic I felt at that particular moment.

She tried to make me feel better by saying that people were always mentioning that she seemed to have food on her face. In my defence it was a tiny, white stud (just below the lip-line)..and I had never seen a white one before. If it had been gold or silver I wouldn’t have gone down that road..but I did and I guess I paid the price.

If there’s anything that divides the boomers from their kids it’s the whole concept of piercings. Please don’t tell me that piercings and such go back into the mists of time and have been sported by cultures the world over. That kind of National Geographic logic doesn’t apply when, for example, one of your sons lets it drop at the dinner table that he’s had his nipples pierced. No father should ever have to ask his son, ‘How are your nipples?’

The first piercing I experienced was at the age of eight when I accidentally impaled my scalp on a rusty nail in the neighbour’s tree house. I just hung there screaming and spinning like some kind of nightmarish mobile above a crib. That was the extent of my knowledge about penetration until well past puberty.

I have acclimated to tattoos, although that too, was a bit of a learning curve. But if a waitress with a tongue stud stands by my table in a restaurant and recites the entire voluminous list of chef’s specials for the day there’s a very good chance I won’t hear a word she’s saying. I see the stud. The stud is all I see.


2 Responses to “Face Facts”

  1. I am giggling here reading your post on piercing. I am agreeing you on that one. I would not understand what is being said and staring at the stud, too.

  2. Hey Dave,
    I love this one…..my daughter wants a piercing, and every day I pray she hasn’t gone and done it ! Ugh ! If it was just the ears she wanted, ok, but the tongue, belly button, or God knows where else !
    I’m just starting to blog, Dave. Check mine out above. Still learning….but love yours !! I have saved you as a blog follower on mine.
    Cheers, dahling…..

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