This Blows (or doesn’t)

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I went to a movie last night. It was a fairly forgettable film, but what I did remember was the washroom experience.

I make wholesale judgements on an establishment..restaurant, movie theatre , shopping mall, anywhere really..based purely upon what I find in the restroom.

There are some restaurant chains that have jazzed up the john so much that it truly does invite you to rest in a restroom.

They have sofas, ottomans, faux fireplaces. It’s very comfy and somewhat inviting. If it weren’t for the redolent stench of urine and the jarring sound of zippers, I might be inclined to stretch out for a nap.

But last night’s movie house washroom experience was frustrating because, of the six hand dryers that were connected to the wall, only one worked. So you washed your hands, walked up to the dryer, tried to trigger the motion detector..and you got nothing. There was just a lot of water being flung at the wall while you waved your hands around like a major league umpire calling ‘safe‘ at home plate. There were four or five of us standing in a row doing this.

No one cares about the motion sensor that flushes the urinal. You just zip, spin and leave. Let the next guy worry about it. But once you’ve done your business, no one want to leave the washroom..wet!

I told my wife, who was waiting outside, that I would not be able to hold hands with her for awhile.  Just like Cuba Gooding Jr. in the movie Jerry Maguire..I was air-drying.

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