Just Fir You

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Why are there no door to door Christmas tree salesmen? Think about this. Why isn’t there some enterprising soul with a big panel truck loaded with trees who drives around the suburbs wearing a santa hat, playing carols through a speaker, bringing trees to the foot of your driveway? I would love to see that. I would gladly pay an extra $20 for that service. We have Dickie Dee who flogs ice cream all summer…why not Dickie Tree who saves all that hassle at the yuletide?

I have to go out and get the tree today. There’s no magic left in that chore. I don’t cut it down. I tried that a couple of times when the kids were young. It didn’t quite measure up to Currier and Ives. I don’t use a living specimen, although I once tried that too.  No, I’ll be part of the jolly horde that descends upon the corner lot by the supermarket, grabs an unknown mass of branches that have been wrapped up like a sausage, jams it into the too-small trunk of my car and then struggles to extricate it amid  a flurry of falling needles and expletives in the driveway.

Where is the entrepreneurial spirit that could relieve me of this burden? I want someone who rolls up in front of the house, drops the tree in my arms, maybe even offers a complimentary fresh bottom cut. Damn, I would instantly bestow both cocoa and cash on such an individual!

This is what drives people into the arms of Dupont, I know that. I have stubbornly fought the trend toward an artificial tree every year. My children, who no longer live at home, still want to see the real thing in the ancestral living room. But my resolve is weakening. There may be one more festive struggle left in my being. After that, all bets are off.


One Response to “Just Fir You”

  1. Stick with it Dave… There is nothing better than a LIVE tree. Everything else is fake but you need to keep the tree alive.

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