That’s a Wrap

November fashion runway

November's fashion runway

Something called Fashion Week starts next week in Vancouver. Truth be told, any Fashion Week on the west coast  in November should be nothing more than an endless parade of slickers, sou’westers and gumboots.

I anticipate there will be lots of scarves on the runway. Scarves have nothing to do with Winter anymore, although that’s the only time you’d ever catch me sporting one (and then only to shovel my driveway). Check the massive listings of paparazzi photos on the web and you will be hard pressed to find a celebrity who isn’t  mummified in some strip of fabric. Some of them are wearing scarves at the beach.  A summer scarf makes it damn tough to toss a frisbee.

My unscientific survey shows that Jennifer Aniston and Katie Holmes may be the most frequently festooned notables, but on any given day (at any given event) the red carpet is awash in scarves.

Katie_Holmes_And_fac0

Katie covered

Jennifer_Aniston_spends_ccec

Jennifer in July!

Salma_Hayek_and_77a9

Salma swathed

If you can find any red-blooded, heterosexual male who thinks it’s ever a good idea for Salma Hayek to be wrapped up in a scarf just tell me where he lives and I’ll go over a beat him with a big stick.

There must be scarf protocols. I’m quite sure they’re being constantly violated because some of these throw-togethers look positively thrown together.

For example, is this a scarf…or a set of seat covers?[picapp src=”b/c/8/f/f7.JPG?adImageId=6984424&imageId=3671941″ width=”234″ height=”344″ /]

Apparently, there are guidelines for properly sporting a scarf. Some of it is just common sense, I suppose. Small women should not drape themselves in big scarves. On the other hand, long thin scarves can create some kind of slimming illusion. If you have a swan-like neck you’ll look much better in a scarf than, say, a  middle linebacker for the Green Bay Packers.

And what about men? Perhaps it’s just me but I don’t think it’s possible for a man to wear a scarf (as a fashion accessory) without looking a tad precious. It may have become his signature but I think it’s  high time Jon Voight gave that white scarf a rest.

[picapp src=”d/7/9/e/Clive_Davis_PreGRAMMY_c152.jpg?adImageId=6983384&imageId=1684458″ width=”234″ height=”363″ /]

I don’t really think men know what to do with a scarf. Here’s a photo of Brad Pitt at the Cannes Film Festival all wrapped up in a scarf (not an ascot..not a cravat) which he has proceeded to tuck into his shirt.

[picapp src=”b/f/f/4/RESTRICTIONS_APPLY_Brad_3687.jpg?adImageId=6984044&imageId=4855763″ width=”234″ height=”351″ /]

Is that right? Is that the way you wear it? Do you think he turned to his wife in the hotel room and said,  ‘Angie, how does this look? ‘.

If I’d turned to my Angie and asked the same question she’d tell me in no uncertain terms to take the silly thing off.

Then she’d undoubtedly add, ‘ Who do you think you are… Brad Pitt? ‘.

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One Response to “That’s a Wrap”

  1. Dave, I wear a scarf all the time now. I use it as a camouflage to my un-robust decolletage. It keeps men guessing as to what might be underneath and so, on the surface, at least, it works for me. I get the glances without the disappointment. But you’re right, Selma doesn’t need to go to these lengths!

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